A very ADHD Day and how I survived it!

It’s been years since I wrote Confessions of an Organiser so this blog feels long overdue… A few weeks ago I had a very ADHD day… It was a workday and I had a couple of friends coming over at 7pm for a low-key supper. I had promised them an lovely bean soup using the stock from our Christmas ham. I felt on top of it – I had defrosted the stock, and soaked and pre-boiled the beans the previous day. All that was needed was to finish cooking the beans…

Starting confidently

“No problem” I thought, “I have some gaps between coaching sessions today, so I’ll finish cooking the soup then”. All was going well until I smelled the unmistakable smell of burning (and yes, I did use a timer – at least once anyway!) But I had caught the soup early, so I decided to use the top layer of unburned beans. I added more stock and started again… phew, bullet dodged!

…Friends, I DID IT AGAIN!! But by this time it was around 5pm – and the soup was beyond rescue. My ADHD day was really kicking off…

Pivoting…

“No problem” I thought, “I’ll just pivot” (that’s apparently what people do instead of ‘changing plans’ nowadays). So I decided to use a different soup recipe. I nipped out to Sainsburys in the car to buy the necessary ingredients.

I arrived home, and unpacked the ingredients. The clock was definitely ticking, but I still had an hour to cook the soup – easy! Except that the recipe was on Facebook and my phone had disappeared. My son helped me look for it, but we couldn’t find it anywhere. (I guessed that during my speedy shopping trip I had either just put it down somewhere when paying, or worse, that someone had stolen it from my open bag).

The panic is setting in…

I started driving back to the shop, then remembered I could look on Find My Friend so drove back home. Guess what, my phone was on flight mode because I’d let the battery run low (I did say this was an ADHD day!).

I drove back to the shops (I hope you’re not feeling as stressed as I was at this stage?!) The staff hadn’t seen it, but people gave me great advice. “Where did you last see it?” “Have you tried Find my Friend” etc etc.

I returned home feeling upset and slightly judging myself for not paying more attention in my hurry.  By now I was anticipating with no little dread the process of cancelling cards & buying a new phone. My son also has ADHD and was very sympathetic – but was also insistent that I shouldn’t prioritise cooking the soup over cancelling my cards!

At that moment I suddenly spotted my phone – right next to me. Oh my goodness, the relief I felt! (In direct contravention of my golden rule of NEVER putting down my dark phone on a dark surface, I had put it down on the pew in our hallway – and both of us had missed it).

Dealing with the aftermath…

But by this stage I was feeling very wired! Despite finding the phone, I was in a state of high alert, with a LOT of emotional pent up energy. Starting the cooking felt impossible. So on instinct, I did something which might sound a little crazy – I stood in the kitchen and shook my arms vigorously while jumping up & down (away from the window – I’m not that crazy!) . Within a few minutes I felt like myself again – and ready to start preparing the soup.

I’ve never done this before, but it just felt intuitively necessary. Since then, I’ve stumbled across more theory behind this kind of response to stress. This article explains it better than I can, but basically I was processing the stress which my body had accumulated so I could let go and move on.

In case you’re wondering, we had a lovely evening – and the soup was delicious!

How to navigate ADHD days:

1. Our speedy ADHD brains get a lot done, but multitasking isn’t what it’s cracked up to be – research shows we do multiple tasks less efficiently.
2. If we’re going to multitask, we need to use all our available coping strategies (e.g. timers – but see below)
3. Taking a moment to pause often helps: “Have I done everything I need to do here? Ah, I need to put the timer on”
   (Coming into the house, I usually take a moment to unpack my keys phone etc to a bowl by the door).
4. What are we feeling? (Often we’re too busy ‘feeling it’ to notice.)
5. What do we need right now to help us manage those feeling? (Find what works for you: One client went for a brisk walk after feeling ‘cooped up’, one screamed into a pillow after a stressful conversation, others use breathing techniques)

 

I’d love to hear about your ADHD days, and how you managed them – you can email me at sarah@freeyourspace.co.uk